A template

Let me not start with the usual stuffs like "here we go guys or hey folks bla bla....".I am going to play another innings in my familiar territory.Hold on ,no prizes for guessing.Its about movies.Yesterday,when i was watching a hindi movie 'Hum Tum' ,i could not avoid thinking about 'When Harry met Sally'.But,HumTum has better comedy sequences and the movie totally rests on Saif's shoulder in the first half.His natural sense of wits and his impeccable  comic timing carries the movie smoothly till the first half.Second half was a typical Hindi movie.

I am seriously thinking of changing the name Bollywood to Punjabwood.The heroes are always Rahul khannas or Karan kapoors or Raj Malhotras.The heroines are usually Poojas or rheas.The very moment hero has a glimpse on the heroine, he starts singing "khudiye,tusi kitni soni laghthi ve' and the heroine responds by singing ' mundeyaa,lejaa mora nindhiyaa'.If we are not having lead roles as punjabis,then at least there should be one Anupam Kher as sardarji and Archana puran singh as his sweetheart for comedy.

But,when it comes to showing Marathis,the character is described as a roughian blabbering 'Bole to ek dham sahi' kind of dialogs.If it is Gujarathis,they are shown as some crazy cave men and the tamilian's characterization,its much more lousy.They always say "ayyayo' and keep eating idly,sambar,idly sambar.Why northies.why do you happily accept it??

Move away,widowed,white sareed movie mammas!here comes the bubbly,witty dadi maas.Every hindi movie should have a dadi ma who is as smart as a Mensa.She calls everybody as 'oye!puthar,yahaan aa jaa puthar' and usually be the first one to sniff the love affairs and stands against those who oppose the young lovers.She can be preferably Farida jalal.The rule says that she should call out for 'wahe guru' whenever possible.

The lead family never goes out without their Armani suit on and their mode of transportation is preferably choppers which drops them at their very own backyard.Or at least there is one Hrithik roshan driving Ferrari to the college.

Our bollywood heroes do major favour for the multinational fashion outfits.They always make sure they show the Polo T-shirts(with the Polo name printed on it) and Italian designer shoes with Police sun glasses covering their eyes.And the heroines talk abuot her wardrobe with all the latest brands while talking casually and she carries the GUCCI vanities.

If i say lead family,i am talking about atleast 6 different families living together and doing business together.There is always one lousy uncle or aunt who cracks jokes all the time and does some major sacrifice in the end for the hero's family.

We have this certain advantage when we go for a Hindi movie.You get to see the whole Europe or US in the best of their seasons in just 100 rupees.You do not need to go for a package tour.The heroine walks over the plush green meadows in NewZealand and zooooooom,our hero stands on top of Alps singing and explaining us how he became deewaana.Or the hero runs in the streets of Manhattan searching for his soul mate while the girl stays in Paris.

Just mix Shah Rukh Khan as hero,Aishwarya Rai as heroine and Amitabh bachan as Dad and stir it properly.You have a hit movie ready to be served.

Ooops..is there something missing in the main ingredients?yeah.'The Story'..Oh! Come on man! You cannot be so much demanding.How much do you expect for the 50 bucks you pay??